Mother's Day Baby Shower

There really was no need to stress over this one. As the old song goes, "when we all work together, how happy we'll be." It was a success and blessed everyone involved - especially we who hosted! Cindy, JoAnn, and me.

Sign in register and Willow Tree for Marla, the Mom-to-Be

 

Welcome for McKinley Grace!
Cindy's daughter-in-law made the banner.

Lots of nice gifts.

Cindy and I put together the flower arrangements.
(We thought these turned out really nice
considering neither of us knew what we were doing.)

Homemade yummy muffins

Fruit with granola and Yogurt honey dressing
(A spinach and Canadian bacon quiche
was still in the oven when pic was taken)

 

Teddy bear box favors for everyone to
fill with pink candies

Dimples cupcakes
(Thanks, JoAnn)

 

Beautiful Mom Marla with her Mom, Carol
and Mother-in-law, Linda.

 

Marla with family
(including sis-in-law Venette)

So happy for Marla and her husband, Steve. This is their first baby.

A few of my favorite things from last week

A homemade card from Brady and Noah
They included their cousins, Jack and Kate.
I especially like the hearts that say "Call me"
and the "I love love"!



I hope I get to use this to take them to a movie
when we see them this week

Kate made this for me

Kate loves Nonnie
She wanted to include all my favorite colors

Kate drew a pic of her and me

So much love in these cards

From my dear friend Bettye
Having a place to go is a home
Having someone to love is a family
Having both is a blessing.

From Susan

A handmade card from my friend LaVerne

 

Amy put this together. So pretty.
She has become quite the gardener.

And she put the arrangement in a lovely pot

  

Peonies from my yard

Every single birthday kiss, hug,

wish, gift, lunch, every call, text, email, card,

every single one is cherished

and the love behind each brought me joy.

 

 

 

And thank you, Dear Heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Empty Arms

This is a moment to honestly lament, or maybe to ramble - a moment to wallow in the proverbial sea of self-pity. Sunday was a day of celebrating Mothers and being a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother for millions of wonderful women.

Nana Diana beautifully expressed in her blog the sadness for many who “have deep, dark pains that hide beneath some of the smiling faces … aches that are too deep to share with anyone.”

But there are thousands others with deep, dark pain that lurks in their soul and hearts of the longings that were never fulfilled - the desire to simply be a Mom. On Mother’s Day, I don’t begrudge the joy of those who celebrate and revel in the love of their children. In fact, I rejoice with them. I rejoice and enjoy the “bonus kids and grandkids” of my own, whom I love with all my heart. I’m not forgetting that though I never had a child, I was a child, and did have a wonderful and loving mother. I have a friend whose own mother told her she wished she had had an abortion. Many of my friends have husbands who do not love them. Several have children who have brought great pain and disappointment to them or they never even see them.

But Mother’s Day brings to mind all the feelings, the “bitterness of soul” and disappointments of somehow being incomplete … being different … somehow a second-class woman. Like Hannah in First Samuel, I wept many tears. How well I can remember the pain of yearning, hoping, grieving. Month after month, year after year, and losing hope that it would ever happen for me, as I listened over and over again to others relating to me their great news and watched them raise families. And the emotions on Sunday, and then Monday morning continued to rise and fall within my heart and I know they will once again be pushed down inside. Those emotions don’t really rise up as often as they used to. Years ago, I accepted that it would never be, and so I am able to rejoice with others in the excitement of their pregnancies and their experiences of birthing babies and raising children.

How could I ever describe it to you? Only one who has been there and desired it so deeply could ever understand. Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, didn’t understand. He said to her, “"Why are you crying, Hannah?" . . . "Why aren't you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn't that better than having ten sons?" (I'm thankful to say my own DH is sympathetic to my feelings.)

The feeling isn’t even one of loss - because how can you lose something you never had? But there is grief. Somewhere I remember reading this is “unrecognized loss.”

I won’t go on and on. My life is too blessed as it is. For whatever reason, there is a reason. There is a purpose for everything under heaven, and I understand all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose. So the purpose of these few paragraphs are to try … I said try … to get this off my chest and go on with my day - my life, which I will most certainly do. Life is too wonderful to wallow in self-pity for more than a few hours or a day. I remember a line from Anne of Green Gables that has stuck with me. “To be in despair is to turn your back on God.” I refuse to despair. Life is too good.

God has been far too good to me for me to wallow - and I know He understands this brief lament. But God also knows every unexpressed thought and every unexpressed desire. He knows. He is Good. He has richly blessed me with His love, and with a husband who loves me, whose children loved and accepted me from the beginning, and their children know me as their Nonnie.

This post wasn’t written for sympathy, and it wasn’t written to counsel anyone. Everybody is different. Everybody has different feelings, depths of grief. But if I could offer any word of encouragement, it would be to say, don’t give up trusting God that He knows and understands what you feel. Explore prayerfully the avenues you can to bring your dream to pass, but don’t let it become your god, define who you are, or become your obsession. Help somebody else. Be a loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend. Volunteer to help somebody else. Some people thought it was crazy that a woman with no children wanted to lead a Brownie troop, work in Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, or babysit for others. Believe me, you will be appreciated, and you will find joy in giving!

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in Your bottle.

You have recorded each one in Your book.

(Psalm 56:8 NLT)'

It is comforting to know that our tears don't go unnoticed, but life is better when we find that His grace is sufficient.

Friday

This past week has been a frenzy busy with birthday lunches and dinner, Bible studies, grandkids, friends, family, and planning, shopping and preparing for a baby shower I am hosting tomorrow with two other friends. I baked 5 dozen muffins yesterday, and then fixed my DH a chicken fried steak dinner complete with mashed potatoes and cream gravy, and sweet buttered corn. (No rolls 'cuz I'm on a diet - and I sampled more of the muffins than I could count!) Whew.

In between, I am reading blogs and trying to make comments when my iPad will allow. It constantly freezes up and I have to go in to Preview, Edit, and start over. If I don't do it quickly enough, it freezes again.

I want to wish all of you a Happy Mother's Day!

Enjoy your day. You deserve every kindness!

When I'm 64

"Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me?

Will you still feed me?

When I'm 64."

-Paul McCartney

 

64??? What happened?

 Flashback
 

As kids, we didn't have a birthday party every year, but the parties we did have are fondly remembered. Having a birthday in May almost always meant perfect spring weather and lots of outdoor fun. Neighborhood friends were invited to our house to celebrate and play such games as Drop the Handkerchief, Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and see who could drop the most clothespins into a jar. Our guests came bearing gifts of coloring books and crayons, paper dolls, jacks, jump ropes, or maybe a paddle board with ball attached by string.

It wouldn't be a birthday without Mom's special chocolate cake decorated with hard sugar candy decorations spelling out Happy Birthday, and served with ice cream! (It's difficult to see them in this blurred photo, but I know there were (or soon would be) six candles nestled down in some of those letters.)

 

My 6th birthday
(Notice all the girls are wearing dresses.)

Most birthdays were spent with family, and many of them with my Granny and Grandad whose birthdays were a couple of days before mine.  The photo below was taken on my seventh birthday. The pretty pink dress was a birthday gift from my grandparents, and I proudly held up my first "real" Bible, the present I had requested from my parents (and I still have that Bible).

(LOL - the picture wasn't developed until
October of that year.)

At 11 years, Mom suggested a "tacky" party to mark the occasion, and my friends were invited to come dressed in their best "scruffy" outfits. The party was a success, and I do remember receiving a copy of Heidi (a story I still love to this day), and a box of chocolate covered cherries (which I have to stay away from). My younger sister has a more distinct memory of this celebration. She and her best friend decided to enhance their "tackiness" by taking the one and only item of make-up I owned at that age, (a tube of "Avon Dawn Pink" lipstick), and smearing it all over their faces with a bobby pin! They not only ruined the lipstick by digging into it with the bobby pins, but really messed up their faces when they tried later to scrub it off with some kind of household cleaner!

Teenage years found me counting the days until I would turn Sweet 16 and be officially old enough to date. Then at 17, looking forward to being 18, the "magical" age that would enable me to make important decisions on my own, i.e., piercing my ears, wearing shorter dresses, going to movies, you know, all those things previously forbidden. ;-) Very limited vision! Freedom from school, work for a while, get married and raise a family of my own. Why was it always something in the future that we thought would bring happiness?

21 and married, and, all of a sudden, we are looking at 25 (an age which I never thought I would reach, for some unknown reason having an ominous feeling about it), the years are speeding ahead, 30, 40, 50, the BIG 60!

At 17, do you ever even think of the possibility that some of your dreams might end in disappointment? Too soon, I would have to deal with not only the realization of unfulfilled dreams, but also with the deaths of three of the dearest loved ones in my life, and my brother's horrendous experience with cancer ... all in the span of a few short years.

At 36, I learned that nothing turns out as ever expected. Life can change in one moment's time.
 

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder. Is that really me?

Of course this isn't really me, silly! ;-)

And at 37, I re-learned that yes, life continues to change ... and always will.

 

Fast forward.

Happy faces!
(me totally unaware of a diagnosis I would
receive from the doctor that same month.
Thankful to say it's 8 years out now.)



Who knew this train trip through the Smokey Mountains
would take a scary turn and include an unexpected
care flight for my DH to a hospital in Knoxville?
 

We have been on many exciting journeys together ...
but just being with him is the biggest trip of all.

Good times. Hard times. How in the world could a person really learn about being thankful without the changes that life brings to all of us? The remembrances that God is good and faithful and with us throughout all of those? No matter what happens, always be thankful. For past blessings, for blessings yet to come, and during the difficulties.

 

Life is good and filled with so many blessings I can't count them. Not without its glitches and hardships, by any means. But it is richer, fuller; there is so much to be thankful for. The people I've known and loved, their impact on me, the things I have experienced in my life have given me so much.

 

(And one of the coolest things about getting older is that with the addition of so many wonderful people in your life from so many different parts of your life and your history, you get to celebrate MORE OFTEN! Lots of birthday lunches and getting together with friends. It's gonna be a fun next couple of weeks!)

 

That old Beatles song is a great one, and DH has filled out the form to say yes, he'll be mine evermore. But, in looking back over the years and all that has happened, the song I sing more often is much better than the one quoted above.

 

"I've had many tears and sorrows
I've had questions for tomorrow
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave blessed consolation
That my trials only come to make me strong

I've been a lot of places
And I've seen so many faces
But there've been times I've felt so all alone
But in that lonely hour
In that precious, lonely hour
Jesus let me know I was His own

Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to trust in Jesus
I've learned to trust in God
Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to depend upon His Word

So I thank God for the mountains
And I thank Him for the valleys
I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through
Cause if I never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them
I wouldn't know what faith in His Word could do."

 -Andrae Crouch

 

"He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God."

(Psalm 40:3 NLT)

Nonnie, Nonnie, Boo-Hoo

I feel sad. Disappointed. Somewhat crushed.

Trying to maintain relationships by phone are sometimes trying. The technology of Skyping and Face time have greatly improved communications, but still ... being able to see others face-to-face on a regular basis keeps relationships healthier. Don't you think?

The case in point at this emotional moment is our grandsons who live only 4 hours away. But, because of jobs, school, our schedules, their schedules, we haven't been able to see them since they were here in March. Our trip to see them last week had to be postponed, and now we won't get to see them until mid-May. :-(

But what triggers my sadness today is we haven't even had a good telephone conversation with them. Last month, they weren't their usual exuberant selves. We have been waiting for an opportunity to talk to them for the last two weeks, but it just hasn't happened. So this morning, they called while on their way to school. Excited hellos from us, a hello from one of them and silence from the other. Papa and I tried to ask about soccer, their achievements, their fun, but nothing seemed to spark a conversation. Mom explained that Noah was feeling grumpy this morning, and my attempts at kidding and telling them Papa was a little sleepy and asking if there was anyone in the car who was happy. That wasn't very humorous (to anyone but me (Dopey), that is).

Their lives are changing. They are approaching ages 5 and 7, and beginning to be more involved with their friends, soccer, swimming, all the exciting adventures their Dad takes them to and spending many really good times with their cousins. They are blessed indeed.

At another motorcross event

With their cousins

There is never a dull moment for them and it occurred to me that maybe quiet time for them is in the car on the way to school. (That is just my logic today. ;-))

My head reminds me these boys always look forward to our visits and also want to come stay with us and I know that when we see them again, they will be very excited and happy for us to be there, and we will have a great time.

Sad good-byes when we leave

But my heart is a little down. So, my question here is, for you who have grandchildren out-of-town, any suggestions on maintaining relationships with children by telephone? All previous phone calls with them have always been exuberant, happy to hear from us and excited to show off.

Any good tips? Good conversation starters?



Muenster time

Friday night found me still groping for ideas to get my DH out of the house again for another adventure. After a busy week for me and having the kids for a couple of days, we both needed to do something together. Nothing I suggested to him would satisfy. Just as I was about to throw up my hands and call it a day, it came to me! This was the last weekend in April. That must mean it's Germanfest time in Muenster, Texas! Woo-hoo!! DH was excited and immediately insisted I find another couple to go with us. (Never mind that it is 9:30 pm.)

He was all over this one and in the closet searching for his German outfit! Haha!! (He recalled something about free admission to anyone wearing their "authentic" ;-) German clothes.)

Authentic!

Not!
(Actually, he is pretty authentic!)

Now his isn't really authentic, as you probably could tell. This shirt was purchased many years ago at an Oktoberfest in Addison, Texas. And the day he put it on, we took a pic of him and then thought it might be fun to imprint the pic on a tee shirt for me. Funny, huh? It was at the time.

These are two shirts I haven't dared to throw away, but trust me, they stay tucked away in the back of the closet hoping he will forget about them. No such luck. He asked (begged) me to wear this in hopes of getting free admission for me as well. (You understand it isn't about the money, it's about DH having some fun!)

Well, it looks like somebody changed the rules because the ticket agent said, "Sorry, that really doesn't qualify as 'authentic' German attire." (When is the last time you saw a leather tee shirt?) But, when I unzipped my jacket to display the front of my shirt, everybody in the ticket booth burst out laughing and said they really, really wished they could let us in free, but again, sorry.

Our friends, Bill and Carol, joined us for a great day out on Saturday to check out all the wares in the booths, a little sampling of some (maybe more than a little) German sausages, red cabbage, sauerkraut, potato salad, funnel cake,

and lots of oompah music, which is still ringing through my head.



This lady could play the xylophone and dance wildly while playing!



Our friends, Carol and Bill. Carol is an amazing woman of faith and strength. I told about her in a past blog. She fell a couple of days after Christmas, breaking her right leg and left arm! After 3 1/2 months, she is finally out of the wheelchair and was able to walk all around the park on Saturday.

We watched the Chicken Dance!

The German bands all love to sing,

"In heaven there is no beer."

Uh, I'm good with that.